It has often been said that when you focus on a task outside of or bigger than yourself, said acts of kindness tend to assist you in forgetting that which hampered you in the first place.  It is in this vein that we will continue our series How to Survive the Holidays as a Single Person as we explore the act of serving.  The Bible is full of examples of service and how through said service generations have been saved and/or calamity averted.

One such example was that of the Widow of Zeraphath who, after she had finished gathering sticks, told the prophet Elijah that she was going home to cook a final meal for her and her son and that after that they were going to die.  She had nothing left.  Despite her destitute state however, Elijah requested a jar of water and a piece of bread from the widow.  He also commanded her not to be afraid for he had prophesied that if she acquiesced to his command her jar of flour would not be used up, nor her jug of oil run dry.  Fortunately for her, the Widow of Zaraphath did as she was asked and prepared and served Elijah his meal.  Because of her service, Elijah’s prophecy was fulfilled and God’s promise of overflow made manifest (1 Kings 17:7-16).  Because the Widow of Zaraphath focused on a cause outside of herself, feeding a stranger, her immediate issue of hunger and lack was solved, her food sources restored indefinitely.

Another biblical example of service can be found in 1 Samuel 25 where Abigail, wife of Nabal, utilized wisdom and hospitality to avert bloodshed after her husband refused David and his men sustenance.  Instead of allowing Nabal’s disrespect to stand, Abigail secretly gathered bread, meat, grain, cakes, and wine to personally deliver the meal to King David and his men.  Upon her arrival, Abigail bowed down and kneeled in front of David to apologize on her husband’s behalf. Moved by both her hospitality as well as by her humility, King David ultimately accepted the food and subsequent apology.  Because of Abigail’s service, bloodshed was averted.  When Abigail’s husband died some time later, King David sent for Abigail to become his wife.    This made possible not because of Abigail’s physical appearance or her beauty, but rather because she served him and did so in excellence.

Eclipsing both examples Jesus himself said, “Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:26-28, NIV).  Now, if Jesus has set the principle of service as a way to attain spiritual promotion, why don’t more of us serve?  More so, if Jesus has set the bar of service as giving His life so that all could be saved, what is our excuse?  Jesus’ examples of healing the sick, casting out demons, meeting the needs of others, and actively creating disciples should be the catalyst upon which we strive to accept His call of service in our lives.

Consequently, there are no shortages of volunteer opportunities during the holiday season.  Food drives, gift drives, coat and blanket drives, organized ministry, evangelical opportunities, and soup kitchens all have exponential needs placed upon them during this time.  Why not offer your gift of time, your talents, and/or your finances to organizations such as these?  In meeting the most desperate needs of others your joy will be restored and your feelings of loneliness quenched as you interact with those less fortunate than you.  In the grand scheme of things, who knows which generations might be saved at your hands, what catastrophe averted, or what kingdom connection made as a result of your decision to serve, and to do so in excellence?  Make a commitment to serve today, Beloved.  The fruit of your efforts may surprise you.

It is my prayer for you that you will seek to serve others this holiday season.  It is my prayer that in serving others you will find the joy reserved only for those who help their fellow man.  As you serve, I pray that your service will set spiritual wheels in motion for your spiritual as well as physical promotion.  Finally, as you meet the needs of others while coming to their assistance, it is my prayer that your needs will supernaturally met as well.  I pray this prayer in one other than the matchless name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Alleluia!

Know that I love you, all

Red Shoes and Service in Excellence,

Danielle, The Girl in the Red Shoes

One of the things for which I will forever be thankful is that my mother forced my brother and me to watch nature shows from a very young age.  At first what started out as severe boredom eventually turned into pure bliss and excitement as we learned and were able to discuss the intricacies of the animal kingdom.  When all the other students came to school the following day talking about a cartoon they saw the night before, we were full of factoids and vivid descriptions of lionesses chasing impalas and the carnage left behind as the pride devoured its meal.  Stunned and amazed by what we had to offer we soon became popular among the more scientific students within our classes.

It was not too long after we started watching nature shows that my brother and I started to take dibs on which impala, or deer, or meerkat would be the first to die.  My brother and I became very adept in looking for the signs that would signal the demise of one of the above mentioned animals.  “Were they alone?  Were they elderly?  Were they sickly?  Had they wandered too far off from the herd?”  The more we watched, the more skilled we were at not only selecting the doomed animal, but stating the reasons why said animal became prey even before the narrator revealed his/her thoughts.

The Bible tells us that, “The enemy, our adversary is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8).  Is it any wonder that Peter would have likened the devil to an animal in the wild on the prowl for his next meal?  Does not that tell you that the devil has the same attributes of a lion on the prowl in search of its next victim?   If this were the case, would it not stand to reason that the same attributes lions look for in the wild prior to singling out its prey would be the same characteristics the enemy might employ?

When we look at how antisocial many people have become as a result of social media, online streaming, online shopping, online dating, and/or online video gaming, is it any wonder why so many fall victim to loneliness, especially during the holiday season?  Alone on the internet and locked away in their our rooms, is it any wonder why so many are addicted to creating embellished and far from truthful profiles on dating sites, or worse find themselves addicted to pornography?  Much like it is in the animal kingdom, is it not the ones who are lonely, or the ones who are sickly, or those who have removed themselves from the crowd the prey that eventually gets picked off by the enemy?

One of the things I have learned during my season of singledom, is that accountability is key to remaining faithful in all things, even more so during this walk as a single woman.  As a result, I have aligned myself with other women of God who desire to be married.  I have also established an accountability relationship with someone who, throughout the years, have become my best friend.  More so, I have held myself accountable by confessing my downfalls, my sins, to said accountability partner – not in an effort to be judged, but rather in an effort to loosen the grip of guilt and shame said sins would otherwise have on my life.  It is through said accountability that I have managed to remain a part of a very functional, and goal oriented group.  It is on account of said accountability that I have maintained my sanity even when my single walk wears me down – and at times it does.  But, it is through said accountability, and the like minds I have surrounded myself with I have been able to ward off being devoured by the lions of depression, loneliness, illicit behaviors, unhealthy thoughts, guilt and/or shame.

Accordingly so I challenge you, if single, to surround yourself with people who would edify your walk, not those who would seek to desecrate it.  If you desire to be married, surround yourself with those who share similar desires.  If you have committed to a life of purity, surround yourself with those who have taken that same vow.  Further, if you have committed to a life of strength and health and relationship with God embed yourself within a group of people who strive to acquire the same things.  Beloved, we have been warned, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22, NIV).

It is my prayer that you will submit yourself to counsel so that your plans may succeed.  I pray that the Lord will direct compatible and like-minded accountability partners your way.  I pray that there will be no decoys in the name of Jesus, and that everyone with whom you are grouped will edify and strengthen you for the journey ahead.  Lastly, I pray that you will be victorious against any roaring lions whose attention you may have garnered in the past.  I pray these things in none other than the matchless name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Alleluia!

Know that I love you, all.

Red Shoes and Accountability,

Danielle, The Girl in the Red Shoes

Ask any single person desiring to be married: the holidays are brutal.  It is a time when couples pair up leaving the rest of us to wander aimlessly throughout the season with either only our best girl friends or best guy friends (those who aren’t dating) to keep us company.

Despite the feelings of warmth and togetherness that one would expect during this time, the holidays seem to bring with them a series of problems specific only to those of the single persuasion.  The thoughts of loneliness are constant, a desire for company insatiable.  Let’s face it, who envisions going to holiday events by themselves?  Whether it be dinner at a friend’s house or drinks at a company party, not many singles welcome said events with outstretched arms.  Going home for the holidays is also no exception.  Faced with the constant barrage from parents and/or grandparents, aunts and/or uncles about the non-existent mysterious person in our lives, a single person almost always shudders at the thought of being empty-hearted during the holidays.

As a result, many are often left to ponder why they are being forced to endure yet another season by themselves.  Or worst, some lose hope and venture into the very unsafe, yet very popular chasm of finding someone on their own accord sans input or confirmation from family, friends, or God.  In such cases, faith can be shattered, or worse, years of praying for and waiting steadfastly on the Lord forfeited to sheer impulse.

I, myself, have never done single well.  From my teenage years, to my first real boyfriend, I was either infatuated with someone or dating.  From my first crush, to the guy who first broke my heart, to the man who eventually became my husband, to my second serious relationship, to the many casual interactions in between; I have always been “involved” with someone.  That is until the Lord placed me on an extended relationship hiatus the manifestation of which has been me being very single for the past 7 years.  Yet, if you were to fast-forward from the point of origin when I began this journey kicking and screaming to where I am now; I would be the first to say that I am better off because of this season having had time to get to know the Man to whom I would want my husband to first be submitted.

It is in this vein that I begin this series, “How to Survive the Holidays as a Single Person”.  These articles will be written from a Christian viewpoint and justified with scripture.  As such and if you will, kindly allow me to take you on an abbreviated tour of some of the things God has shared with me throughout my looooonnnngggggg (no, that was not a typo) and continual tenure in the wilderness of singledom.  Allow me, within the next few weeks, to take you on a journey of both inward and outward reflection, a journey upon which I will give you guidelines of how to maneuver through this most difficult time, and do so both successfully as well as in excellence.  You will not be disappointed.

It is my prayer that you will embrace this season of singledom with full pomp and circumstance.  As others impatiently rush to quench the insatiable urge to not be alone for the holidays, I pray that you will seek wisdom and accountability.  Lastly, I pray that you will use this time to draw closer to God and strengthen your relationship with Him.  I pray this in none other than the matchless name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Alleluia!

Know that I love you, all.

Red Shoes and Journeys,

Danielle, The Girl in the Red Shoes

Then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not heed the warning and the sword comes and takes their life, their blood will be on their own head.

(Ezekiel 33:4, NIV)

It is often said that a frog placed in a pot of water set to boil will remain in that pot even as the temperature rises to dangerous and life threatening gradations.  This is because the frog’s cold blooded nature causes it to readjust its core temperature time and time again in an effort to match the temperature of its immediate surroundings.  The danger of this however is found in the fact that a frog will remain in the water even as it starts to boil, ultimately resulting in the loss of its life.

As warm blooded creatures, we could never fathom sitting comfortably unaware in a pot of increasingly heated water to the point of being cooked alive.  Yet as we take inventory of the culture within which we live, boiling pots seem to be everywhere.  Let’s face it, whether we are in a pot of overindulgence as dictated by pop-culture; or whether we are in a pot of sexual immorality as dictated by the media we all are sitting in a pot of water dangerously close to both a physical as well as spiritual death.

As a result of this process, we all have been desensitized to spiritual danger.  However, unlike the frog whose body cannot regulate its temperature, we have been created to discern both good from evil, safety from harm.  Yet, many of us have forfeited this ability for the sake of fitting in.    As a result, we have found ourselves teetering on the very slippery slope of depravity all the while lulling ourselves into the falsity of believing there will be no consequences for our actions.

Beloved, what is your pot of water?  Is it the pot of sexual immorality?  Is it the pot of overindulgence?  Is it the pot of gossip and bearing false witness?  Is it the pot of the love of money?  Or, is it the pot of pride?  The list goes on and on.  Do not become the cause of your own demise.  Hear the trumpet and heed its warning, today.

It is my prayer for you this week that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you will be able to identify the various pots within which you sit.  I pray that once your pots have been revealed, you will confess of your sins and seek deliverance.  Lastly, it is my prayer that you will seek to strengthen your sense of discernment so that you may never fall victim to increasingly heated pots again.  I pray this prayer in none other than the matchless name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Alleluia!

Know that I love you, all.

Until next week, Red Shoes and Discernment.

Danielle, The Girl in the Red Shoes

Beloved:

Is this how you want your value to be measured? As an option, or a convenience with no blessing from God? Please know that fourteen years ago, I took these vows myself not having this very understanding. What do I have to show for it? Nothing.  Nothing but six years of wasted time, and – at the time – heartbreak and low self esteem.

Thank God for His deliverance and forgiveness. This is why I share and practice the things that I post. I want to spare you the heartbreak, betrayal, and loss of value that comes with cohabitation as well as sex before marriage. If I can spare two people, and those two people spare two more, can you imagine the movement we would create?

Please like and share.

Know that I love you, all.

Danielle M. Walcott, The Girl in the Red Shoes: Walking the Walk

My heart is heavy this morning. My spirit is grieved…

Grieved for those who have made the big screen their bible; actors, actresses, and producers their gods.

Grieved for the women who have bought into the lie that single motherhood means being constantly on the prowl for a man.

Grieved for my sisters who think that finding a mate means being bedded by any man who shows them a modicum of interest.

Grieved for the sister who feels that she has to support a man and buy his love in an effort to make him stay.

Grieved for my single sisters who desire to be married but who collectively look for love in all the wrong places.

I am heart broken this morning…

My sisters you are being systematically led astray.

I mourn for you; for those of you who have forsaken God’s boundaries to adopt the way of the world.

I mourn for those who have fallen for the guises of the enemy; who have accepted a lie as the truth.

I mourn for those who have minimized their worth just to be held at night.

I mourn for those who cry themselves to sleep because the man who just satisfied their flesh has, in the same motions, ravaged and condemned their spirit.

I am grieved.

Grieved because my sisters do not know their worth.

Grieved because value and morals and dignity have now all been replaced with debauchery and lewdness and lust.

Grieved.

My heart is heavy this morning.

I am praying for us, all. That we will all come to the knowledge and understanding of the purposes for which we were created: Cradles of life, vehicles of favor and blessing, nurturers, wives, mothers, and friends.

Know that I love you, all.

Danielle M. Walcott, The Girl in the Red Shoes.